Competing: A Spiritual Journey

I haven't posted since Tuesday, and it's not because I went off the deep end. I did not give in and have a beer and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Thanks in part to a dear friend who read my post, then sent me a very encouraging text message. Since then, I have still been very hungry, but it has been manageable.
  After receiving the text message, I got to thinking about how this journey is a spiritual one too. For example, when I was training for my first figure show in 2008, I would keep my bible open and on the counter in my kitchen. Every time I would venture to the kitchen for something to eat, I would instead read a verse. I started to realize that I actually had made food my idol. I mean, while I was eating one meal, I would be thinking about my next meal. I thought about food a lot. I wasn't overweight, but I thought the same way someone who was, would.
  Last year that changed and I no longer had a problem with that. I am positive God used that training time to reveal that to me and had everything to do with me conquering that way of thinking. As God will do, if you let him, he guided me thru another self battle during last year's training. I almost quit competing all together after only completing two shows. I battled in my mind how this could possibly glorify God. I felt somewhat guilty. Maybe this is too vain. Maybe there's nothing good that could come out of this. I was torn up by this. I really love to compete. It doesn't really matter what I'm doing, I want to do the best I can and get better each time. After spending much time in prayer and relying on caring advice from my husband, I realized something.....let me rephrase that; I started believing something I already knew. God cares about the "little" things too. He knows where my heart is in all of this and I started to have peace with my decision to compete. My prayer then was and is the same now. Lord, if this is not your will, then take the desire away. Whatever way you have to do that, I am open. Knowing me, and he does, a win or a top five finish would only encourage me to keep on. LOL. So that's that. he will let me know when I am done. Until then, I give 100% and prepare to win.