4 Weeks Down....8 Weeks to Go!

Another week down. I am 1/3 of the way there. I soared passed my goal of 15.9% and came in at 15.5%. Just as I thought, I lost in my arms and legs. No difference in my abs. Well, that's not exactly true. I can tell I lost in the upper section of my stomach, just not where measurements are taken. I am excited. This is just the motivation I needed to keep going. I started at just over 20% 4 weeks ago. Now I get rewarded with a cheat meal this weekend. Yippee! Mexican food it is.
  I have an amazing trainer who does my body fat and teaches me tons of stuff I didn't know. Today he explained to my why I may not want to do a whole lot of my High Intensity training with really high reps. I have always been told, high reps will tone. Not true. He said going extremely high reps, like I have been doing occasionally, will actually shrink the size of my muscles. That's not what you want for competition. And since one of my critiques was to come in a bit more tone in my shoulders, I will make note of this and stay heavy with 8-10reps and at least 45 seconds rest between sets. I may throw in a day here and there just to break up the monotony of training, but certainly won't make it a part of my typical workout.
  Since going back to heavy weight lifting this week, I am not as hungry so things are a bit easier for me at the moment. Gotta push thru.

  What is the deal? I am having the hardest time my diet this time. I almost had a breakdown. I figured out that part of the problem is my schedule this year. Last year I worked in the evenings and by the time I got home, my husband had supper prepared.. This year, I am home after picking the boys up at 1pm and do all the cooking. This has gotten old quick. I think dinner tasted "different" when someone else fixed it. Sounds crazy, but it's true. Jeffrey fixed talapia and chicken tonight and I didn't feel deprived. It was really good and I actually enjoyed it. So now my plan is for my husband to prepare a couple of nights meals to help with this. I am hoping this will work.
  My workout this week is strictly hard core weight lifting? Last week was higher intensity style training. I definitely can tell the difference in my appetite. Last week I felt hungry all the time. These last two days, I haven't struggled with hunger, just not wanting to eat what I am allowed. I am anxious to see on Thursday what progress I made. I am worried it won't be what I want. I need to meet my goal each week so I don't get discouraged and say well "screw it", I am just going to eat.

Easter Sunday! I had Bison today, but did have some chocolate too. I hope that doesn't impact my loss this week. My husband did my body fat and I am down but, I am not sure if I will be down to 15.9% by Thursday. I can tell I have lost at my waist line, but that's about it. There is no reason to post my pictures this week because I think I look exactly the same. Very frustrating! It is what it is. Guess I'll know on Thursday.

Competing: A Spiritual Journey

I haven't posted since Tuesday, and it's not because I went off the deep end. I did not give in and have a beer and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Thanks in part to a dear friend who read my post, then sent me a very encouraging text message. Since then, I have still been very hungry, but it has been manageable.
  After receiving the text message, I got to thinking about how this journey is a spiritual one too. For example, when I was training for my first figure show in 2008, I would keep my bible open and on the counter in my kitchen. Every time I would venture to the kitchen for something to eat, I would instead read a verse. I started to realize that I actually had made food my idol. I mean, while I was eating one meal, I would be thinking about my next meal. I thought about food a lot. I wasn't overweight, but I thought the same way someone who was, would.
  Last year that changed and I no longer had a problem with that. I am positive God used that training time to reveal that to me and had everything to do with me conquering that way of thinking. As God will do, if you let him, he guided me thru another self battle during last year's training. I almost quit competing all together after only completing two shows. I battled in my mind how this could possibly glorify God. I felt somewhat guilty. Maybe this is too vain. Maybe there's nothing good that could come out of this. I was torn up by this. I really love to compete. It doesn't really matter what I'm doing, I want to do the best I can and get better each time. After spending much time in prayer and relying on caring advice from my husband, I realized something.....let me rephrase that; I started believing something I already knew. God cares about the "little" things too. He knows where my heart is in all of this and I started to have peace with my decision to compete. My prayer then was and is the same now. Lord, if this is not your will, then take the desire away. Whatever way you have to do that, I am open. Knowing me, and he does, a win or a top five finish would only encourage me to keep on. LOL. So that's that. he will let me know when I am done. Until then, I give 100% and prepare to win.

I am HUNGRY!

Good grief! I think I may be starving. LOL I have not done well so far. I have eaten two tater tots, and two crackers with peanut butter. Yes, peanut butter. It doesn't get worse than that. I know some of you are thinking, it's only tater tots and crackers. But understand me when I say....that is where it starts. If I allow myself to say it's OK, then I will push it farther. Here we go, the mental part of this game. I will be taken over with guilt before the night is over. My husband usually is the barrier between me, the stress of the kids not wanting to go to bed, and food. Unfortunately, he's not here tonight. He will even get up in the middle of the night if one of the boys is hungry, just so I won't be tempted to cheat. I may end up having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a beer. Sounds gross, but I mean it. If I am still hungry after I have my last approved snack, then I just might do it. My workout was so intense today. That has to be the reason I am so hungry.

  This week is going to be tough. I am mixing up my workouts and doing a little more high intensity. The last time I did this I was tired and hungry that week. Today is no exception. I have been hungry and tired. I did a little ballet today. I have not been doing it like I had planned. I practiced in my heels. Everyday I have to do something for the show. It's just time to get focused.
  I met with someone today to have custom extensions made. Wow, hair is expensive. On average, $80 a package and I will need at least two packages of hair. Donna Granberry is making them for me as a favor. It will just cost me the price of the hair. I am so thankful for her generosity. I can't wait to get them. I will revisit this again next month. For now it just helps to have a plan in place.
  I have not heard from the lady who is making my suit. She was supposed to send me some fabric color samples but I have not heard from her. This is just one more thing I have to take care of this week. I like to check things off my list and I can't do that yet.
  It's 10pm and off to bed I go.

My First Cheat Day!

  Cheat day has arrived. I have not really craved much till today. I woke up and had to fix breakfast for my Sunday school class then head out of town to work. 2 hours one way. This was going to be a long day for sure. I packed up my food and started my day. My first little cheat was just a small amount of my breakfast casserole. Doesn't really matter how small the portion size because it was loaded with fat. I should know, I made it. I managed to stay on my diet, but I didn't eat all I was supposed to. By the time I got into town, around 5pm, I was pretty hungry. I was craving a greasy burger, so I made a stop to Juicy's. I then headed to Whataburger to get a small chocolate malt. So all in all, I had some cheese nachos as an appetizer, a burger, (actually a half a burger) I couldn't eat more than that and my malt. I may have some chocolate before the night is over. But all is good. Back on it tomorrow.
  I should have taken some pictures this morning, but I was running behind. Tomorrow I will probably be bloated like a whale, but I will get some up this week for sure.
  I know there are some of you who want to know what my diet looks like. To be honest, you will probably be disappointed. It's not rocket science, it's just CLEAN.
  This is what I have been eating for the past two weeks.
Breakfast: 1 egg 2 egg whites and grits Snack: protein shake and banana Lunch: Chicken (or Fish) rice, and veges, Snack: protein shake, cottage cheese and yogurt, Dinner: Same as lunch, Bedtime Snack: 1 egg 2 egg whites.


  That's it.....see....no miracle involved, just clean eating. The key is to stay full. Don't allow yourself to get hungry. Try it and let me know what you think.