I'm gettin crazy all up in here!

Wow! One week of my fat being cut back and I am officially "loco". I can't even think good enough to know if that's how you spell loco. I will never complain again about having to stuff my face because it is way better than lean out time. Usually I don't feel like this until closer to show time.... that’s when the calories are cut back which means the fat is cut. I am retaining fluid, but have no idea why. My trainer assures me it is probably from lack of water consumption, my lack of sleep, and stress. Apparently, I need to make some changes because I'm not coping well because I'm not thinking well. Guess I will increase my water intake, take more naps, and send the kids away until after the competition. LOL This is the hard part of preparing for a show. Everyday things that are typically no bigger deal than the last become enormous obstacles. I can see how being single and living alone would make it easier to prepare for a competition. But I play with the cards that are dealt and I deal with the choices I make and I choose to compete. I won't lose any money, but I may lose a few friends along the way. LOL.  I will admit however, sometimes I want to get away from myself, but no matter where I go, there I am.  I can be pretty contrary during this time. Once my body adjusts I should be fine.

 I am four days past due on a cheat meal...TONIGHT I am cashing in!

*no matter what I look like this week, I will post 6 week out photos....ACCOUNTABILITY*

Silly Me!

This week was a great week! I weighed in with my trainer and got great news. I gained 3 lbs of muscle and my body fat actually went down. Whoo Hoo! This is what I needed to hear. I thrive off  hitting the mark and this last month I did. Now instead of setting my short term goals to every 4 weeks, they are set for every two. I however made a bit of a mistake in my planning. Apparently, I got the date wrong for my competition and it is a week earlier than what I thought.  Silly Me! Not sure what brain fart I had, but thank God someone brought it to my attention. Now I am going to recheck all the dates for shows I have chosen to compete in. Normally this could be a huge deal, but I am ahead of the game as of now. I do worry about my workout partner who is competing in his first show as well that weekend. I hope my mistake doesn't affect his outcome. A week can make a huge difference.

Mentally, I have been somewhat somber this week. Here is some advice you ladies need to hear. When you are on your period, don't put your swimsuit on and critique yourself as you normally would. I swore to my husband I had put on fat and my skin was sagging. This was two days after my weigh in. I actually began to worry that maybe I wouldn't be ready in 7 weeks. Craziness! Oh! and get a tan. I have a spray tanning machine and when I go on and on my husband will say....you just need a tan. Believe it or not I instantly feel better. I may not look better, but I THINK I do. Silly Me!

9 weeks out

9 weeks out

I cannot believe competition time is just around the corner. My first show will be the Optimum Classic in Shreveport in May. This is a warm-up to my show coming in June. It's been a little hard getting into the "show" mind frame since I have not had to start the leaning out process yet. I have been in contact with the lady making my suit (by the way I am selling my turquoise suit if anyone is interested) and I will be meeting with her in a couple of weeks to go over design and fabric. I am working on my
 t-shirts that I will be selling to help off-set some of the costs associated with competing this year. All and all it's just time to get things together and get re-focused. I posted some recent pictures. Along with recent pics I posted a picture from last year. You can see that I am ahead of the game this year. I still have to lean out, but I am confident in my look this year.

9 weeks out

This is me last year 5 weeks out from my show.

Disappointing yourself

Sometimes competing can bring out a whirlwind of emotions. More times than not, disappointment creeps it's little head up. This off-season has been one of my most successful off seasons. I maintained a great look with my body fat only going up to 15%. I am "always" training for a show, but have really focused on building muscle for the last two months. The first month went great. I put on 3lbs of muscle. My total goal is 9. The second month, didn't go so well. It was no ones fault but my own. I just didn't eat what I needed to eat. Bottom line is you have to eat if you are going to build muscle… and I didn’t. My numbers stayed exactly the same. This is great for everyday life, but not for bodybuilding. I did not try at all to maintain, it just happened. But I was supposed to be gaining muscle. 4 wks lost. Good news is my body fat is low enough right now so I don't have to lean out just yet. I will give this building muscle thing another shot. This time there will be no excuses. I will cram the food down in order to get the calories in.

Saying I love you

 

Have you ever thought about how hard it is to say I love you? We live in a society where sleeping with different people from time to time has become the norm, but saying I love you to your friend almost never happens. Is that not messed up?  This past September I lost a dear friend to her two year battle with breast cancer. She was only 6 weeks away from her 40th Birthday. She left behind a loving husband and three adorable kids ages 2 to almost 7. The thing she left behind was the ability to say I love you. Anyone who truly knew her will always remember that Kelli would always say I love you instead of just saying good-bye. What an awesome way to be remembered.

  After her death I became more aware of how little I said those words to my friends...and how hard it was. What is the deal? I think the word love is automatically associated with an intimate kind of love affair. But reality is, it's not. It is an emotion, a feeling of fondness for someone. Webster's definition of love defines love as....

a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates>

This leaves the door open to anyone, not just someone you are in an intimate relationship with or just family. I think also, we are afraid of rejection. You remember that kind of rejection when you told that special someone you loved them, but didn't get the response you had hoped for. I think those memories make such an impact that we become afraid to use those words again. There are people in my life who have made such an impact on who I am today, and I love them for that. If something were to happen to them I would be affected greatly, yet I have never told them. I know we all have "best friends" whom we care about greatly and love, but again, we don't tell them. I do have a friend that I now say I love you to. And wouldn't you know it, she now tells me. What a great thing to pass on. Love is not something to keep to yourself. Everyone needs to love and to be loved.

For those of you who have friends of the opposite sex, and most of us do, whom you would say you "love", I think it's OK to say so. You need to approach this a little more conservatively by maybe preceding I love you with "I admire you or you are a dear friend", but I wouldn't stray away from saying the words all together. This world has made LOVE a word appropriate for couples only. Let's be realistic folks. If we took time to tell each other how much we loved each other, there would be less depression, loneliness, suicide, heartache, regrets, and the list goes on and on. Moral of this story...Get out of your comfort zone and tell someone sincerely...You love them!