Bring on the Guilt

I don't imagine that anyone ever starts a diet thinking that your cheat days will become a "guilty pleasure". I am here to tell you, they do. It's a little different for a competitor. Throughout the 12 weeks of dieting for a show we never feel any guilt for taking our cheat meal. But outside of dieting for a show, guilt can consume us. Take for instance this past week. I did good all week and then Friday came along. My kids each were very deserving of a little trip to Chucky Cheese. In my mind however, I had decided not to take a cheat day till my two weeks was up, which was today. I struggled with do I eat with them or wait....eat or wait....eat or wait. For crying out loud, I am not dieting for my show yet so why am I doing this to myself? Yep! Guilt was raising it's head up and I was allowing it to take the attention away from celebrating my children and making it about the food. I have to take back the power. I feel that I did. I decided to have fun, eat with my kids, and not to worry about it. Two out of three is not bad. I did think about it, but that was about the extent of it. I even had pizza again this afternoon when we went to the water park.....And why not? I made my goal of losing another pound so I am right on track.

What a busy week it has been. I have managed to stay on track despite the stress I am feeling. I started a new job and of course there are learning curves with that. I have probably had too many animal crackers thus far, but, hey, it could be worse. I bought a new breakfast sandwich that I had first tried at my brother n law's house. It is the Jimmy Dean's D Lite. They have a couple of different options, but I chose the one with less fat. The taste is nothing to write home about, but for those mornings where grits or oatmeal just won't cut it, this works pretty well. I actually ate half of it for breakfast and half as my mid-morning snack. While I have tried to eat healthy this week, I am not sure how my body will respond to not being completely strict. I have not focused on sodium and I think it shows. I am bloated and feeling yucky. Not sure if the scales will show my progress like it should. I am not a big fluid drinker, therefore, I retain water like you cannot believe. Add some sodium on top of that and what a visual mess.
Workouts: I took one day off for a "me" day and today I skipped because my 4 year old needed a "mommy" day. That shouldn't make that big of a difference if my intake was right. I did start a ballet home video today. Now, I go into this knowing I am not flexible, but I did not realize the workout this is. My goal is to make my muscles look long, lean and more conditioned. How hard could this be? Oh my! I am going to love this. I felt it everywhere. I would highly recommend giving this a try. The weekend is upon us and I am close to that 2 week mark. Only 4 more weeks to go, then I can reassess and see where I am in regards to my competition goal.

Stressed Out

Weigh in was good. I lost 1.5 lbs. this week. However, gave in to stress and didn't do so well with my meal plan. Not so much with my meals, just with snacking. I found myself eating potato chips and french onion dip (a definite no no). My kids were giving me fits and I sometimes don't know how to handle the chaos, so I eat or drink. Oh, I did that too. In fact I am drinking an appletini right now. I am not swimming in guilt right now, but I bet in the morning I will. Think about it. What kind of eater are you? Happy eater, sad eater, angry eater, etc? We need to find a way to change this. Why is it when I am within 12 wks of a show I can refrain, but not now? Grrrrrrr!

This week went pretty good. Of course I had two friends with birthdays this week....the first week of my meal plan. (I don't like to use the word diet) and what is always the focus of any celebration? That's right, FOOD. Thursday we went to Cheddars. Cheddars does not release their nutritional information which makes it very difficult to make a healthy choice. I passed on the spinach and artichoke dip and margaritas. I went with instead, blackened catfish, green beans, and a dry baked potato. I ate only one piece of fish and finished off the green beans and potato. I know I took in enough sodium for a week and who knows what else. The green beans were delicious, so my guess is they have something like butter on them. Oh well, I tried. Unfortunately, when I get close to competition date there will be know guessing. If I don't know exactly what I am eating then I don't eat it. Last night was another birthday celebration. This time I ate a small portion of whole wheat pasta with turkey spaghetti sauce, a tiny piece of bread, and a salad with Walden Farms dressing. I did great. I Passed on the alcohol then gave in to cake and ice cream. Not feeling too guilty today. All in all I am pretty pleased with how this week went. Not too worried about this weekend because I will be home.
New Snack Finds: I went grocery shopping this week and was starving by the time I got home. I picked up Great Value's Lean Cafe Chicken Club Panini. With only 330 cal 9g fat 20g protein and 4g fiber it was a better choice in one of those I need something quick moments. You know the one where you are about to take in any and all food you see. I wouldn't necessarily make this a normal part of my diet. It is processed and I couldn't pronounce half the ingredients. But, it can work for you occasionally.
  I also made a delicious sandwich using 1) English muffin 2.) 1tbsp miracle whip light mixed with Walden Farms 1 tsp of thousand island dressing. I loaded it with turkey, cucumbers, onions, banana peppers. It was really good and allowed me to stay on my meal plan. Weigh in tomorrow.

I found myself nauseous after this mornings workout. I have switched over temporarily to a higher intensity style workout and wow my body didn't know what to think about that. Diet was pretty much the same. I did end up eating one egg last night before bed and will probably end up doing the same tonight. I substituted a small can of tuna w/ 2 tbs of Light Miracle Whip and 5 saltine crackers for my snack. Other than the sodium, it met my snack equivalent. For some reason I was more aware of every fast food place between home and work. Usually, day 3 is the hardest when starting a diet, but today proved to be tough. I was quite irritable. This is a normal occurrence for me as I decrease my fat and carb intake. This should level out by the end of the week and resurface at 2 wks for me. My goal is to not have a cheat meal until after the 2wk mark. This helps boost my psyche because I will most definitely see changes at that time and seeing changes is the number one reason we do this, isn't it?

Am I Hungry or Just Tired?

Today was the first day to "getting back on track". My meal plan went as follows...
7:15am oatmeal and protein shake
11am rice cake
12 noon protein shake
1:30pm chicken, sweet potatoes, green beans, salad with red wine vinegar/sweet n low
3:15pm orange
4:30pm protein shake
6:30pm Talapia, oriental veges, very tiny side of pasta
I only drank water today.

I will typically get hungry again before bedtime. Not sure what I will choose to snack on if I do. Cubbards are pretty bare right now. I got a good workout in this morning. I didn't get enough sleep last night so I have had to really assess my "hunger" pains today. If you are tired, many times you interpret this as being hungry when your body really isn't. Be careful of this. Usually this presents itself to those of us who tend to be bedtime eaters. Go to bed and get some rest. This is probably the number one thing I need to do this year. Once the kids are down, I will have my unwind time in front of the TV. Before I know it I am making a mad dash to the kitchen for a quick snack (aka: cheese toast). I've got to stop this. I instead need to know the signs and work my way to bed. Guess I will see how it goes while I watch the Bachelor tonight.

Welcome 2011

This year I have decided to chronicle a bit of my life in regards to preparing for a NPC bikini show. I am asked a lot of questions regarding my training, but many don't realize the other aspects involved. I am going to put myself out there in hopes that I can encourage other women to be honest with themselves. No woman likes seeing herself in less than perfect form or a positive light. But, lets get real....no one is Perfect...including myself. Thru this blog I hope to conquer my own insecurities when it comes to my personal self image. I plan on doing this by posting pictures (if I can figure out how to; I am not computer savy) of me before I start to train. No one pays me to stay looking stage ready, so truthfully, I don't. In the days to come I will share with you my eating and exercise habits as well as the mental struggles to getting back on track.
MY GOAL: As of now I am planning on doing a show in the Summer. This doesn't mean I can wait till 12 weeks out from a show to diet....I have to begin to do mental training now. I will follow a semi strict meal plan until Valentines Day. It will be at that time I will check my body fat and map out my course of training and diet until my show date. It sounds silly, but that is the way to insure that I leave nothing on the table. Will it be worth it? ABSolutely!