Disappointing yourself

Sometimes competing can bring out a whirlwind of emotions. More times than not, disappointment creeps it's little head up. This off-season has been one of my most successful off seasons. I maintained a great look with my body fat only going up to 15%. I am "always" training for a show, but have really focused on building muscle for the last two months. The first month went great. I put on 3lbs of muscle. My total goal is 9. The second month, didn't go so well. It was no ones fault but my own. I just didn't eat what I needed to eat. Bottom line is you have to eat if you are going to build muscle… and I didn’t. My numbers stayed exactly the same. This is great for everyday life, but not for bodybuilding. I did not try at all to maintain, it just happened. But I was supposed to be gaining muscle. 4 wks lost. Good news is my body fat is low enough right now so I don't have to lean out just yet. I will give this building muscle thing another shot. This time there will be no excuses. I will cram the food down in order to get the calories in.

Saying I love you

 

Have you ever thought about how hard it is to say I love you? We live in a society where sleeping with different people from time to time has become the norm, but saying I love you to your friend almost never happens. Is that not messed up?  This past September I lost a dear friend to her two year battle with breast cancer. She was only 6 weeks away from her 40th Birthday. She left behind a loving husband and three adorable kids ages 2 to almost 7. The thing she left behind was the ability to say I love you. Anyone who truly knew her will always remember that Kelli would always say I love you instead of just saying good-bye. What an awesome way to be remembered.

  After her death I became more aware of how little I said those words to my friends...and how hard it was. What is the deal? I think the word love is automatically associated with an intimate kind of love affair. But reality is, it's not. It is an emotion, a feeling of fondness for someone. Webster's definition of love defines love as....

a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates>

This leaves the door open to anyone, not just someone you are in an intimate relationship with or just family. I think also, we are afraid of rejection. You remember that kind of rejection when you told that special someone you loved them, but didn't get the response you had hoped for. I think those memories make such an impact that we become afraid to use those words again. There are people in my life who have made such an impact on who I am today, and I love them for that. If something were to happen to them I would be affected greatly, yet I have never told them. I know we all have "best friends" whom we care about greatly and love, but again, we don't tell them. I do have a friend that I now say I love you to. And wouldn't you know it, she now tells me. What a great thing to pass on. Love is not something to keep to yourself. Everyone needs to love and to be loved.

For those of you who have friends of the opposite sex, and most of us do, whom you would say you "love", I think it's OK to say so. You need to approach this a little more conservatively by maybe preceding I love you with "I admire you or you are a dear friend", but I wouldn't stray away from saying the words all together. This world has made LOVE a word appropriate for couples only. Let's be realistic folks. If we took time to tell each other how much we loved each other, there would be less depression, loneliness, suicide, heartache, regrets, and the list goes on and on. Moral of this story...Get out of your comfort zone and tell someone sincerely...You love them!

Choosing your competition

  Every year about this time I start getting the question " Do you have a show coming up?" Very few times do I have someone ask how I come about picking a show. Recently however, I have been getting this question more often.

  First of all, I pray about each show. I really feel that the Holy Spirit guides me to picking my shows. Case and point.... I had my heart set on doing the Master's Nationals this year. I have wanted to do this show for two years and just knew this was the year. God would have different plans for me this year. At least that is what it looks like thus far. I was asked to do the spray tanning for a new local show coming up. Wouldn't you know it would be the same weekend. I told the promoters I would have to pray about it and that's what I did. I prayed that God would make it clear what I needed to do. Do I do what I have wanted to do or take this job that could prove to be quite lucrative? Remember, I have my kids in private school so every penny counts in this household. It would be no longer than a week when I would get another offer to work as a nurse at a camp for blind kids. I have done this camp for two years and it always falls around the fourth of July. Well, not this year. They opted to move it.... yep you guessed it, the same week as the competitions. It was very clear to me that I could not give up this financial opportunity. Assuming contract negotiations go smoothly, I will be skipping the Master's Nationals this year.

  What size show should you pick? For me, and I have said this before, I want to compete. At this stage of my training I want bigger shows. I believe if you are starting out, then smaller shows are a great place to start. You can get the experience of competing in a show without the overwhelming level of competition. What constitutes a small show? I think a show where you have less than 10 competitors in a class is small. There are many shows where there are less than five. I personally, won't compete in these right now. I'd rather be number five out of thirteen than number one out of three. Smaller non-qualifying shows tend to be less competitive. Now don't get me wrong. I have been to small shows with three people and number one was in it to win it. But I have also seen where number one would not have made top ten in a National qualifying show. So you have to decide what do you want? Do you just want to get a feel for competing? Do you just want a trophy? Or do you want to compete with the best? There is a place for all of these. You decide which one is the right fit for you. 

  I also consider who the head judge is going to be. After competing in and attending a few shows, you can get a good idea of which judges you feel will like your look, or those who don't play favorites as often. I don't want to bash anyone in particular, but let's be honest...there is politics just about everywhere you go and everyone knows it. Keep at it long enough and you will likely get your break. I call or email and ask who the head judge is. I do this because the head judge has a huge influence in picking the first call outs. If I get a name I don't want to hear, I do not do the show. I look for another show who's head judge is a better fit for me.

  My plan this year is to compete in two National level shows. I have also chosen to compete in a smaller show only 2 hrs from home. I made this decision for three different reasons.

#1. My workout partner, who is an older gentleman, has decided to enter his first show. He has supported me for years and it’s my turn to show my support for him. While I would be very content to just go and watch, he wants me to compete in the show as well. This would put us dieting at the same time and our goals very similar.

#2. It would be a great opportunity to "play" with the diet. This show will fall only a few weeks before my first National level show and I can use it as a practice. This is what will be a challenge. I felt I was a little flat last summer at my show, but I was too scared to add more carbs. I guess I was worried about making it worse with too many carbs. This time I am going in with the attitude that I have to see what works. I will consult with my trainer while at the show and make the necessary adjustments.

#3. I am READY for another show. Plainly said, I just want to do another show and don't want to wait till June. 

So regardless if you are new to the industry or a regular fixture on the competition circuit, there is a show that is right for you. If you feel confused and lost about picking a show, then ask someone who competes regularly. You can also go watch some shows. Do the call outs make sense to you? Were the judges consistent in their call outs? These are just a couple of things to look for when attending a show. Above all, have fun. If competing is not fun then it has all been for nothing. Hang it up and pick a new hobby. J

BACK Again!

My intentions were to post a blog on aging in the NPC. Well, I guess when my computer shut down I lost the whole thing. Sometimes I hate my computer. I will have to rethink it and try again with that one later.

In its place I thought I might just share a couple of pictures of me training back. Anyone who trains as hard as a competitor knows its hard to get a good look at your own back. I was surprised to see how much muscle my back has. I look "little" in real life, but I think I look pretty big in these pictures. Or maybe that's just what I want to see. LOL

When doing back I keep to the same motto "Load it up". I go heavy and yes, I do real pull-ups. I may only get 10 on my own, and that may be only for two sets, but I will finish with some help from my partner for four sets. I firmly believe pull-ups are one of the most effective back exercise to build those lats.

Feel free to message me some ideas you would like me to blog about. Someone asked me recently to blog about picking a show. Small vs. larger shows. I'm working on that one now. I would love to hear from you.

These were taken recently. You may be able to click on them for a larger view.

Plastic Surgery Part II

In my last post I discussed plastic surgery as it pertains to the NPC. Today I want to discuss this topic as it pertains to the everyday woman. Remember, these are just my opinions. I don't claim to be an expert by any means on this topic.

        

Lets first discuss who I think make the best candidates for plastic surgery.

The best candidates are those women who, for the most part, are self- confident. This would be someone who doesn't constantly look at herself in the mirror and complain about everything she sees. There will usually be one or two things she would love to change if given the opportunity. That’s just normal. The person who should rethink surgery is just the opposite.  She will have low self-esteem. Low self-esteem will not be cured with surgery. She will have to continue to have procedures done and will never meet her own expectations or be satisfied.

Another good candidate would be someone who just wants what she wants. She may know she doesn't "have" to have it, but she wants it anyway. Of course, the above statement regarding self- confidence would apply here as well. She won’t have surgery because her spouse or boyfriend wants her to have it. This is a mistake. I would never have surgery to "please" someone else, not even my spouse. I may meet a little opposition to this statement, but its true. If your man is pushing you to have surgery and doesn't love you for who you are, then you have bigger problems than you think. Let's face it; There is always someone out there prettier, skinnier, sexier, and so forth.... even after surgery. So you better make sure you are doing it for you.

Women vs. Women- It is and will always be the case, that women will be other women's biggest opposition to plastic surgery. We love to look at a girl with nice enhancements and ask sarcastically; YA THINK THOSE ARE REAL? BET SHE PAID SOME GOOD MONEY FOR THOSE!  I could go on and on. But let's be honest, it's because we are a little jealous.... or in some cases a lot jealous.

But come on, if you are going to have surgery, don't lie about it. You don't have to post it on facebook, but if someone has the balls to ask, either tell them it’s none of their business or fess up. You look like a fool when you deny the obvious. Case and point, true story... I was at the pool at SFA this past summer and myself and two other ladies were looking and admiring how cute this young woman looked in the pool. She was almost 9 months pregnant. The next thing I hear is a lady looking at me saying, "That's my daughter and they are real". What? I thought as she continued around the lazy river. Before she made it back around, we quickly realized she thought we were looking at her other daughter who was truly "blessed by God" if they were real. Calling bullshit on that one (in my head of course), I caught her on the way back around and told her it was not that daughter we were looking at but rather her pregnant daughter. She chilled out after that, but my point is, I didn't care if they were real or not.... but I’m not an idiot either. Nevertheless they looked great!

Be subtle about it - I want to be the one where people go; Are they or aren't they? HMM! Not sure. Or the one where when they do realize they think...wow that's obvious, yet they have been around me for a couple of months before noticing.... yeah really obvious huh?

Men- Someone wanted me to give the man's perspective on this. UH Seriously? This will be easy. YES AND YES. If they say they are not a boob man then you get a boob job, I am betting they become a boob man. LOL Not much else to say about that.

In the end, it's your body and your decision. As for me...Well, let's just say, my pictures won't lie and I won’t either.

Plastic Surgery and the NPC Part I

NOTE: I WROTE THIS LAST SEPTEMBER BEFORE ABANDONING MY BLOG FOR SEVERAL MONTHS.

As I started to write this blog, I realized that I might have to divide it into two parts. As with just about all my blogs I spend some time thinking and writing about the chosen topic. This one was no different. I thought I would first blog about plastic surgery as it pertains to the NPC then in part two, as it pertains to women in general.

PLASTIC SURGERY AND THE NPC

Go to any site where pictures are posted of NPC competitors and you will see something very common. Most have had plastic surgery, breast augmentation to be exact. What are my thoughts and opinions on this?

  First of all, I do consider breast augmentation "cheating" in competitions. If you look at a woman's physique that has not been enhanced by breast surgery and compare her to someone who has, you will find the following. I will be the example in this scenario of someone all natural. I have to work my pecs (chest muscles) a lot to achieve the same look as someone who has enhancements. My pecs are pretty impressive for someone this small. Compare side-by-side pics and you will see in most cases (not all) the other girl does not have defined pecs. What a rip off. I press anywhere from 40-55lb dumbbells in each hand in order to achieve the same look. I get the short end of that stick for sure.

  Let me also mention how enhancements give your shoulders a more distinct rounded look, almost broader. I am not sure why, but it does. It can also give the "illusion" of a smaller waist. Once again, these are all illusions, but they work.

  Do you have to have plastic surgery to do well in the NPC?  Well, you could increase your chances for the reasons I stated above, but I say NO! The judges are not thinking (in most cases) look at the rack on that girl. They are just innocently drawn to a more balanced physique that implants offer. This isn't the Hawaiian Tropics. A good set of boobs is not going to win you a show. You also have to have the full package. Nice looks, toned abs, nice muscular legs, and what I believe to be the most important, a nice firm round butt. Your butt will be the deciding factor. I promise! In my last show I counted 4 of us back stage that did not have implants. I know two of us placed in the top 5. Let's not forget I won my first bikini show in 2010 + 3 out of the 5 of us who made top 5 in another show were all "natural". So while I believe it can give you an "edge" up, I would never have surgery just because I thought I would place better. You will likely be disappointed if you bank on that.

  It may sound as if I am against surgery. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I am to be honest, a bit jealous. Not from the competition side of things, just from the loss of my youthfulness.  I am actually a supporter of it, if you are doing it for the right reasons. I believe most women who opt for surgery are given a bad wrap for that decision. That’s really unfair. Which leads me to take a more in depth look at plastic surgery; not only for competitors, but also for all women in general.

In part II I will discuss the double standard in plastic surgery. Not just between men and women but also for women of different sizes. There is an obvious bias that most people overlook. I will also discuss my opinions on who makes the best candidates to have plastic surgery.

I'm Back

I know I it seems I disappeared off the face of the earth. I got off facebook and just stopped blogging. I by no means stopped training. In fact, I am more confident about what this year holds for me in the competition world than any other. I am more fit this off season than I have ever been. I promised some topics on my last blog and I had actually written those before I abandoned ship. I will post those soon.....that is as soon as I remember what they were. LOL
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!