I Love My Body, I Hate My Body!

This has been a tough week. Not for my diet, just mentally. I have been somewhat depressed, which is not normal for me. I think I am deficient in some important vitamins and minerals and most importantly Vit D. I am a horrible patient and hate to take pills. Yes, I am non-compliant in this area. I need to get back on my fish oil, vit D, probiotics, Vit C, and something else I can't remember. That's another thing that is bugging me. I can't seem to remember anything, plus I think my vision is going bad. I woke up with horrible allergies or a cold, not sure which yet, and an ulcer in my mouth. My immunity is down. If you read any of my first blogs, you may remember me talking about how being on high animal protein diets can cause your body to be acidic....which decreases your immunity. I mentioned that I usually get sick at least once during training and not in my off season. I have to take care of myself....and not just my muscles. It's hard to battle all this plus be a normal mom and wife. I am hard to be around right now, but I am trying to do better.
  I mentioned this being a tough week....yes I know, its only Wednesday. I have had a few animal crackers and gold fish, but didn't go crazy. I did have my husband fix me half of a "whatever you got in there" martini last night. I had been working on my report on a visit to one of my consumers and wouldn't you know it; I accidentally deleted the whole darn thing. I was pissed to say the least. Half a drink and I finished up the new report and that was that. No binging or anything, which is something I would have done if I wasn't on this diet.
  I got my new summer swimsuit in and I love it. Reality is, their small fits me like a XS and that just don't look right.( Yes, I know that is incorrect grammar). So now, do I send it back and go a size up, or wait till I am smaller and wear it. I don't think I have ever ordered anything on-line and it come in and fit. I am determined to have some kind of success at this on- line shopping. Nonetheless, I tried it on and I looked so bloated. I am hoping that I am just retaining water because I haven't been drinking enough today. I was on the road and don't like to make a lot of stops. All I know, I loved the way I looked on Monday and hate it today. It is a Love Hate Relationship that I have with my body....that's for sure.